Saying Goodbye

In the past week the number of blogs that I follow has significantly decreased. Three blogs said goodbye to their readers: Auxiliary Beauty, Bad Outfit Great Lipstick, and Faceonomics. With the shift to YouTube, it can be difficult to find makeup blogs nowadays, especially ones that don't focus on reviews. I found all three of these blogs thanks to the blog authors posting on Reddit. And while they did review posts here and there, the blogs weren't solely about cataloging and swatching the new releases, and that felt like a breath of fresh air.

When I started my own blog earlier this year, I had three rules for myself that I've managed to stick to thus far. (1) I would be posting once every week on Monday. This was to get myself in the habit of writing. For the past few years I've been telling myself I wanted to get back into creative writing, and knowing I had a weekly deadline has helped me immensely. I still haven't started writing that novel, but I do feel like I'm finding my voice again.

(2) My blog would never have any pictures. That one seems silly; a makeup blog with no pictures of makeup?! Were there times when I wanted to include a picture in a post? Sure. I think it would be cool to show you my custom palette or help you visualize how my eyeliner collection changed in September. But I know that I would focus too much on getting the right Instagrammy picture and not enough on the prose that was the whole reason I started my blog. Besides, I'm a big proponent of swatching for yourself before buying a product, and there are a plethora of blogs out there on the internet who supply swatches for those who can't or don't wish to swatch things themselves.

(3) I wouldn't be posting reviews. Makeup is so subjective, and even after being interested in it for nearly five years, I still don't feel confident giving my opinion on a product. I can't often verbalize the reasons I like a product; I just know that it makes me happy. I'll talk about why I want to buy a product because of how it fits into what I already own. But I won't tell you how it drying it is or how its opacity compares to another product. I feel like there are plenty of people who already give out that information, and that's not what I want to be known for.

Will you see another post from me next Monday? Yes I'm not going anywhere yet. My goal is still to make it at least a whole year before calling it quits. Truthfully, I'm not as interested in makeup as I was when I started this blog. But I do enjoy writing about my journey weekly. So see you next week.

Choices, Not Collection

Well, I did it. On Saturday, I bought the two eyeliners I was considering to restart my eyeliner choices. I started to write collection, but I really think choices is a better way to put it. I don't want to have a collection again. I don't want to feel the need to have a wide array of colors because someone tells me I should. Why should it affect me if someone online has a cup full of eyeliners? Maybe she doesn't even like the ones I do.

It's funny how that drive to participate in the beauty community can affect you. Even though I told myself before Saturday that I was only going to buy Rockstar and Lucky I still found myself wanting to consider other colors. I didn't really catch myself doing it either until I started considering Mainline. Mainline. That tealish-blue color that I sometimes thought about wearing but basically never did. It's a pretty color, but it's totally not my style. I had owned it for about 800 days and had likely worn it less than ten times. 

That's one of the reasons I decided to only buy two eyeliners this time. I want to use them, like really use them. Even though I loved Rockstar and easily called it my favorite eyeliner, I only used half of my previous one in the nearly four years that I owned it. Putting the old and new side by side today totally shocked me; I seriously thought I had used much more than I had. 

So that's why I'm moving from a collection to just having choices. I'm the kind of person who only wants a few choices. So many of my makeup categories only have one or two choices already, and it was time to make that switch with my eyeliners as well. 

To Replace or Not

Truth be told, I haven't been wearing makeup much recently. I've thought about it a few times, but the desire hasn't been strong enough to actually go pick up my basket and start the process. The few times I have worn makeup recently it almost always has lacked eyeliner. It feels weird because a few years ago eyeliner was easily my favorite makeup category. It was the first category that I truly cared about enough to specifically choose colors and formulas before purchasing.

So, why am I telling you this? Because this upcoming Saturday, my favorite eyeliners will be on sale for half off. If you've been reading this blog for some time, you probably already know how long I've been wanting to buy Urban Decay's Lucky. When I first saw the Urban Decay eyeliners were going to be on sale, I decided that I would buy Lucky and no others. I do not need any other colors, and I love the colors that I already own.

But then I started thinking about how much I enjoy my eyeliners but how little I use them nowadays. I realized I haven't worn them much lately because when I do my eyes often hurt. It seems silly to admit it now, but it took that realization to recognize how long I've had my eyeliners. In fact, I just pulled up my purchase history, and I'm shocked:

• Lancome Lamé - April 2018
• UD Anatomy - June 2017
• UD Mainline - April 2017
• MUFE M-60 - November 2016
• UD Invasion - December 2015
• UD Rockstar - not listed, but it's my oldest eyeliner... November 2015?

No wonder I've been having issues when I wear eyeliner lately! It's high time that I replace my eyeliners. I can't believe I've had some for almost five years. This just solidifies my decision to chuck them all and just buy Lucky and a replacement Rockstar. Eventually I may replace Lamé and M-60, but I really want to see how I handle having only two eyeliners. I know I'm not going to miss Mainline or Invasion; I barely wore them, and they were definitely aspirational items. Lucky can basically act as a replacement for Anatomy, so I'm not concerned about missing that one either. 

In fact, the only thing that I really worry about it is that I'm not going to wear these either. I don't want to buy more makeup just to cling onto the idea that it's still my hobby. But perhaps that is a reflection for another post...

The No Buy/Low Buy Makeup Tag

A few days ago I saw a new makeup-related tag on Angelia Nyqvist's YouTube channel. Even though I'm not technically on a low buy/ no buy (since I don't have specific start and stop dates), I thought it may be interesting to answer these questions.

1. How long have you been on your low buy/ no buy?
It's been roughly three years since I started becoming more conscious of my spending habits. I remember going on different variations of a low buy/ no buy in 2016. I started the year convinced I didn't spend that much but decided to document every purchase I made. And yes, I didn't spend that much, especially compared to the YouTubers I watched, but I quickly realized how often I was buying makeup at the drugstore. I didn't buy anything other than makeup at CVS or Walgreens, so every time I went it was specifically to buy makeup that was on sale, which, spoiler alert, was basically every week. That was before I learned how sales cycles worked and before I recognized that Buy One Get One Half Off is a horrible "deal."

2. What motivated you to try a low buy/ no buy?
The Makeup Rehab subreddit was definitely the biggest factor for me. I joined it around the time it originated, and back then it felt like a small community who were around the same stage in their makeup journey. Barely anyone had already done a yearlong no buy. Instead, we were all learning together.

3. Are there any YouTubers who motivated/ inspired you on your low buy/no buy journey?
When I was in the midst of changing my habits Jacquelyn Lovene was definitely one of my biggest motivators. She was one of the first YouTubers I watched who purposefully decluttered to a smaller collection. Other panners I watched would talk about how they felt overwhelmed by the amount of makeup they owned, but then they would continually buy new makeup while barely making a dent in the items they already possessed. Jacquelyn helped me feel okay about not having multiples in different categories, that it was fine to have a few favorites and call it a day.

4. What is a positive aspect that you’ve experienced in your low buy/ no buy?
I've definitely become more comfortable with the products I own. I don't feel the need anymore to constantly seek out new or "better" products. I mean, do I think their might be a better eyeliner out there than my trusty Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil? Sure, I'm not discounting that notion. But I also know that I don't want to spend that energy researching new products when I'm content with what I'm already using.

5. What is a negative aspect that you’ve experienced in your low buy/ no buy?
I still enjoy makeup, but it doesn't have as big of a wow factor for me as it once did. Maybe it's just because I'm no longer a newbie where every release is exciting. Also, I know I'm not going to be buying certain categories anytime soon, so I stopped seeking out information on those things. Sometimes it's disappointing not being able to discuss opinions on products or being able to compare products I do own to releases that others may be able to relate to.

6. Do you think a low buy/no buy is beneficial for everyone? Why or why not?
Yes, but I think they need to be in the right mindset for it to actually be beneficial. I've seen some people who say they're on a month-long no buy until the next Sephora sale but then end up spending hundreds of dollars at the sale. I think when people use no buys to prolong a purchase it's not as meaningful as others who say "I like this, but I don't need it. Let me use something I already own instead."

7. What is some advice that you have to people starting a low buy/ no buy?
If you're just starting I think it can be really beneficial not to completely avoid the makeup aisle. I know that feels counter-intuitive, but I really feel like it's important to recognize that you have control over your spending habits. You can like something and appreciate something without owning it. It's okay to go into Sephora and swatch items that catch your interest. If you have to leave your wallet elsewhere while you do so, just to ensure you don't come home with new items, so be it. But you have to realize that you're the one who can change the cycle.

8. What have you learned from this experience?

I've learned that it's okay to have a small collection, that I don't need to keep up with the size I see all around social media. I get more enjoyment from specifically choosing the products that work for me than I do from owning things others told me I should like. 

The Obsession With Palettes

I don't understand the obsession with pre-made palettes. They are constantly released, and so many people seem to jump on them each time. If a YouTuber isn't buying it, they're probably doing an antihaul on why they're not. Often the reason for not buying a palette is because it is too similar to ones they already own, which I feel like just reinforces my idea that there are too many palettes released throughout the year. 

It reminds me of when I first became interested in Mac and there were constant "limited edition" releases month after month. However, now it's on a multi-brand level. So even the brands that rarely seem to release palettes are grouped into the same category as brands like Too Faced, which constantly puts out gimmicky palettes that are easily talked about throughout YouTube. By the time Urban Decay came out with Naked Heat (and especially Petite Heat) it was considered too late by many YouTubers who had already acquired multiple warm-toned/orange palettes. 

It seems like a rite of passage sometimes to own so many palettes, like your rank in the beauty community is determined by how many you own. I find it interesting too to look at makeup flatlays and be able to tell fairly quickly when someone started buying makeup based on which popular eyeshadow palettes they own. 

Over the past two years there has been a shift to talking about a palette's "color story." Nowadays it seems to matter more that the colors in a palette are unique and appear harmoniously together in their pans. Swatches neatly grouped together are sometimes more important than how likely someone is to actually wear those colors. I can appreciate a piece of art with blue and green, but I know I'm not going to wear that. Similarly, while the monochromatic 9-pan Colourpop palettes are quite appealing to look at, I know that I don't need 9 similar shadows. 

I also feel like prettiness is more important than function sometimes. I remember reading posts on Reddit about how someone bought a new palette and was so afraid to use it (or even swatch it) because they didn't want to ruin its pristine appearance. The first thing I did when I received my Sydney Grace shadows a few weeks back was to swatch them and start pairing them with other singles I already had. 

My custom palette does not have a color story; it's just colors I like that pair well together. There are browns, creams, yellows, mauves, and more. The silver looks out of place, but it actually works quite well with many of the shades in there. It seems like a jumbled mess and probably is, but that's fine with me. I feel like some people expect too much out of pre-made palettes. They want so much variety and uniqueness from a palette while still expecting it to fulfill their every want. But then they get mad at palettes for containing boring colors or yet another cream shade. 

I think people forget that single shadows exist sometimes. Maybe they're too afraid of creating their own palette because they expect it to be this beautiful work of art from the get-go. They want everything to look harmonious when it really doesn't need to be. I would love to see a shift happen back to single shadows. But if that happens, I really don't want it to be like receiving deconstructed palettes. I want to see people choose the one or two shadows that speak to them most, not the whole collection.